Sassy Black Friend

Partying?

Had an interesting conversation with an acquaintance this afternoon. She’s been having some issues with a guy she’s been dating for a few weeks. I was having lunch with a friend when she walked by, and we invited her to join us. When my friend left I asked her how things were going and thus the discussion.

Apparently the guy she’s seeing likes to party a lot. That term can mean different things to different people, but generally among the people I know it means going out a lot, drinking maybe a little drug use. Partying is very different from going to a party, as I tried to hilarious effect to my mother recently.

Anyway, this acquaintance was concerned and unsure what to do. I told her you have to figure out two things. First, is this something that is putting him in danger in any way? Like, is he going to end up in alcohol or drug rehab, or jail? And if not, is it something you can deal with. Can she hang in there if he doesn’t stop? If the answer to that is no, then there’s no real point going on. People only change when they’re ready to, not when you want them to.