Sassy Black Friend

Sometimes I don’t want to understand

This is a very touchy subject for a lot of people, so I’ll try to be sensitive. I went to college. It was great. Well, it was okay. Expensive, and okay. Whatever. I went at the conventional time in my life, from ages 18-22, otherwise known as the prime stupid years. On the average day I did any number of stupid things. But usually not in public, and never organized, and certainly not documented for the world to see.

But, a lot of my friends did really stupid things in front of a lot of people. They planned and executed epically stupid stunts. The difference between us? Well, I think this video will make it clear. No judgement, just an observation. Morons.

Holiday gift shopping

Usually I love holiday shopping. All the tacky shininess and aggressive cheerfulness works for me. I mean, I spend at least one evening wrapping gifts while listening to holiday music, and often hot chocolate is involved. The whole thing just overloads my cynic circuits, and I embrace the season. I spend hours and hours shopping for little things for the people in my life. Little things because I end up spending a lot on wrapping supplies, and I’m always broke.

Regardless, I love it. Right up until it comes time to pick out a gift for my mother. She is impossible to shop for, and gift giving three times a year is just too much (birthday, Christmas and mother’s day). She’s retired, and also loves shopping. So she buys herself what she wants, leaving nothing for me to get her. Of course, I always come up with something. Usually pulled off last minute based on some off hand comment, or something I realize she needs. For the last five years I’ve gotten her:

Kitchen necessities set – She’s not big on cooking, but she’s trying to do more. So, I got her a nice chef’s knife, a cutting board (go bamboo!), a new spice rack, and a sturdy saute pan. All of which I’ve used more during visits than she does. Whatever. She was happy and showed them off to the neighbors.

Fancy booze – She loves to entertain, but never buys nice stuff for herself. So I got her a selection of her favorite scotches (that was hard, I know nothing about scotch), and a wine of the month club membership. The benefits of a happy, slightly tipsy parent are obvious, I trust. Happy.

Electronics – This was a goldmine category for a few years. New microwave, DVD player, cell phone, stereo, cordless phone. Can’t wait till all of it starts needing to be replaced again.

Christmas for Christmas – After doing some serious renovations on the house three years ago, she stopped getting a real Christmas tree. Of course, my short visits took the blame. Fine. But I did notice she missed it. So, I got her a great fake tree that’s easy to assemble, and some decorations and lights for it. This was definitely a winning gift.

The problem is, I have no idea what to do this year. And I can’t spend a lot of money because she gets mad when I do. Ack.

Wow, I’m dating Theo

So, I spent a couple of the days with the boyfriend’s family, and as I mentioned before, it was actually fun. They’re good people, and spent appropriate amounts of time praising and embarrassing him in front  of me. If his sister comes through with her promise to send me copies of his Kris Kross Halloween costume, I’m sold on them forever. Speaking of Kris Kross, looking for a photo of them lead me to discovering that they’re the same age as me. But I remember them being little kids in the early 90s. Hmmm. That must be because I was so wise beyond my years. Right. Back to the boyfriend’s delightful family.

There’s just one weird thing about them. They are the fricking Cosbys. Seriously. The house (sort of). Dad is a just retired OB/GYN, and mom was a lawyer (she teaches now). There are only 4 kids, I guess they’re missing Sondra, but she didn’t really count anyway, so close enough. It was fantastic.

I asked the boyfriend on the drive home if he realized he was a Cosby kid, and he said of course. he’s been hearing it forever. But never mentioned it to me? Jerk.

I waited desperately for this to happen, but it never did. Step it up, people!

Mess is best

I realized this morning that I don’t trust people that are really neat. Like, if you’re not expecting company, and someone walks into your place, and everything is perfectly in place, you’re up to no good as far as I’m concerned. I don’t mean your home should be gross. I’ve been to those, and no thank you. But, a home should look lived in. There should be mail on the table, or a pile of books on the floor. Something.

In my case, I occasionally have a serious laundry issue. It takes me at least a day after deciding to do laundry to actually start doing it. So, things get sorted, and left in the laundry hamper for a while. Well, actually hampers, plural. I use three. I don’t need them for volume, but if I put laundry anywhere but in a hamper, the cat turns it into a fort, and everything ends up furry. Which obviously wouldn’t happen if I just did the laundry right away, but that’s never going to happen. So, if you end up in my bedroom, that’s what you might find.

The rest of my apartment is home to the notebooks. I have a bad memory, so I have to write myself notes about everything. After years of this, I’ve just gotten used to writing notes everywhere. Shopping lists, work ideas, chores, jokes, anything. Sicne doing this om Post-Its would make my insanity obvious, I keep small notebooks and pens all around. How do I get everything organized when I need to? You don’t want to know. Let’s just say it’s a painful process noone else should ever witness.

Butternut Squash Soup for an army

I’m writing this from Brooklyn. I’m up here with the boyfriend visiting his family. They tend to scatter for Thanksgiving, so they celebrate together a week early. We’re having a good time, and his mom even let me help cook. I mentioned that I like to make butternut squash soup, and she pounced. So, I spent the afternoon making enough to feed half of the city. I tried to find the basic recipe I have used online, but no luck, so I really did wing it this time. Here’s what I used:

3 large butternut squash (approximately 5 pounds)
3quarts of homemade chicken stock (didn’t use it all)
1 cup sour cream (we used low fat)1 large onion
1 carrot
2 cloves garlic
spices to taste: cumin (lots), nutmeg, cinnamon, thyme, salt & pepper

I cut the squash in half, took out the seeds, seasoned with salt and pepper, and roasted until tender. This makes it a lot easier, especially if you don’t have access to great knives, and are making a lot. Sautee the onion, garlic and carrot just until soft.

When the squash is done, scoop out the flesh and combine with veggies in the biggest heavy bottomed pot you have. Add the spices. Start adding the chicken stock (you could use veggie, the roasted squash has a complex enough flavor to make up for it), until you think you have the right consistency. Simmer for about 15 minutes to get flavors combined. Puree the soup, adding more stock if necessary to get it pretty smooth. Simmer gently until heated through. At the end I stirred in about 1/4 cup of the sour cream into the soup. The rest is served on the side with chives, if you want.

This is yummy. And orange. Pretty.

The family liked it a lot, which apparently puts me lightyears ahead of the last girl he brought home, who offered to “make a salad,” which meant buying salad mix, dressing and tomatoes at the supermarket.

Work at Home Jobs Experiment – Little Sister’s Today.com blog

This experiment is only mine on the technical side. My Little Sister (not actually my sister, more like an emotional parasite I can’t get rid if) asked me to help her setup a blog on Today.com. I’d never heard of it, but I have to admit, not a bad deal for the causal blogger.

You earn $1 for every approved post (seems like they’ll approve anything over 100 words) for 1 post per day. So, you can’t post 50 times in a day and make $50. Fair enough. You also get paid a small amount for the traffic your blog receives.

The catch, of course, is you don’t have total control over the blog, and can’t use any other moneymaking tools on it. There are google ads on all of the blogs, but they’re managed by Today.com, not the user. Hopefully she’ll make enough to get be a good Christmas gift this year.

For beginners like Little Sister, that’s just fine. $1 a day is enough to remind her to write something. Here comes the shameless plug. Check out Little Sister’s Always Watching blog where she writes about the crappy television shows she likes to watch.