Sassy Black Friend

Pop Culture Costumes for Black Girls

I hate picking Halloween costumes. Always have. When I was a kid, a girl in my class and I always had the same costume, for something like 7 years in a row. My mom had a full-time job, hers didn’t. My costumes came from wherever you buy costumes, hers were lovingly homemade. The only time mine was better was the cheerleader year. No, I have no idea what made me want to be a cheerleader. I couldn’t have less cheer, even as an eight year old.

All that’s to say, costume picking has never been a lot of fun for me. Since college I’ve kind of always pulled together some shit last minute. I’ve had three costumes in the past seven years. And I spent time and money working on one of them. It got ruined when my old apartment flooded. Figures, right?

So, usually this time of year (a week before Halloween), I realize I should probably consider putting something together in case I can’t avoid costume-related activities. With no interest or time to be elaborate, like a lot of people, I turn to the world of pop culture to find a costume I can put together from my closet and maybe a trip to Target.

But there aren’t a lot of obvious options for black girls. I can’t’ be anyone from The Hills or a Harry Potter character. This year I’ve got Michelle Obama – my most likely choice, though I don’t have the arms to pull her look off – but before that it was pretty much Oprah or I dunno, Tyra Banks. At least Tyra has shorter hair now, so 40 pounds of wig aren’t necessary. Oh, and I guess I could go with Condoleezza Rice, but she’s such old news. Anyone else would require too much explanation. That’s some bullshit. It’s like when you’re talking about what celebrity you look like, and you’re the only black girl, and you just kind of sit there. Speaking of that game, people always said I looked like Tyra, but I think it was just the boobs.

Er, back on topic, it’s crappy. Though, perhaps I could go back to my favorite costume ever, that I put together in a total of 7 minutes while a friend waited in the car for me. I went to a party barefoot and pregnant. So convincingly, apparently, that someone complained to the host about “the pregnant girl resting a beer on her belly.” Heh. Couldn’t get mad because I would totally do that if really pregnant. Except it would be tequila.