Sassy Black Friend

Happy Halloween

This is scary.

Ok, not technically Halloween related, but it is frightening. Am I the only one who didn’t know Isabella Rossellini was nuts?

Okay, that’s pretty funny

Regardless of your political views, this shit is funny. She really is a walking punch-line.

Though, the video reminded me of this, which was very upsetting. Traumatic enough the first time, thank you very much.

Speaking of politics, what the hell is wrong with CNN? They have a ticker counting down the days and hours until the first polls close next week. Ugh. Just stop it.

Pop Culture Costumes for Black Girls

I hate picking Halloween costumes. Always have. When I was a kid, a girl in my class and I always had the same costume, for something like 7 years in a row. My mom had a full-time job, hers didn’t. My costumes came from wherever you buy costumes, hers were lovingly homemade. The only time mine was better was the cheerleader year. No, I have no idea what made me want to be a cheerleader. I couldn’t have less cheer, even as an eight year old.

All that’s to say, costume picking has never been a lot of fun for me. Since college I’ve kind of always pulled together some shit last minute. I’ve had three costumes in the past seven years. And I spent time and money working on one of them. It got ruined when my old apartment flooded. Figures, right?

So, usually this time of year (a week before Halloween), I realize I should probably consider putting something together in case I can’t avoid costume-related activities. With no interest or time to be elaborate, like a lot of people, I turn to the world of pop culture to find a costume I can put together from my closet and maybe a trip to Target.

But there aren’t a lot of obvious options for black girls. I can’t’ be anyone from The Hills or a Harry Potter character. This year I’ve got Michelle Obama – my most likely choice, though I don’t have the arms to pull her look off – but before that it was pretty much Oprah or I dunno, Tyra Banks. At least Tyra has shorter hair now, so 40 pounds of wig aren’t necessary. Oh, and I guess I could go with Condoleezza Rice, but she’s such old news. Anyone else would require too much explanation. That’s some bullshit. It’s like when you’re talking about what celebrity you look like, and you’re the only black girl, and you just kind of sit there. Speaking of that game, people always said I looked like Tyra, but I think it was just the boobs.

Er, back on topic, it’s crappy. Though, perhaps I could go back to my favorite costume ever, that I put together in a total of 7 minutes while a friend waited in the car for me. I went to a party barefoot and pregnant. So convincingly, apparently, that someone complained to the host about “the pregnant girl resting a beer on her belly.” Heh. Couldn’t get mad because I would totally do that if really pregnant. Except it would be tequila.

Go Vote

Most states have some kind of early voting. Do that.

Very Bad Condi

Never let it be said that I’m someone to defend Condoleeza Rice. Not going to happen. But, I went with a friend to see W yesterday, and while overall it was pretty good, Thandie Newton’s Rice was just appalling. The look was there. An easy wig, and some teeth chin things (I don’t know shit about makeup) were great. But the mannerisms and voice were horrifying. Maybe if they’d done a worse job physically, the portrayal wouldn’t have been so shocking. Every time she opened her mouth or moved on screen it pulled me out of the film and into an extended “what the fuck” moment. Here’s Condi.

(just watch the first 2 clips of her speaking)

Here’s Newton on (vomit) Rachael Ray’s show talking about the “transformation.” She claims she captured Rice as she is when she doesn’t know she’s being watched. I’ve never spent time alone with Rice, but I doubt she acts like a twitchy moron when she doesn’t know there’s a camera around.

I couldn’t find a clip of the film with her speaking as Rice, which is probably on purpose. Saturday Night Live would call her performance over the top. Maybe she’s just a bad actress, I don’t know. But for all of Condoleeza Rice’s failings, being a dumber Edith Bunker is not one of them.

Ugh.

Favorite 80s show themes

More time-wasting.

Perfect Strangers

21 Jump Street

Growing Pains

The Love Boat (later version)

And my all-time favorite (only barely in the 80s)

Twin Peaks